Mid-Distance Relationships

“A middle-distance relationship is when two people find themselves living with just enough distance between them that they can’t see each other as often as they would like”. As people grow, mature and lives evolve, people often move away, move apart and can find themselves with distance in between their relationships or friendships. The distance either being ‘long-distance’ (“a relationship, typically a romantic one, in which the two people live far enough apart that they cannot see each other often”), or ‘mid-distance’. However, it is important to recognise, it is definitely not just romantic relationships that experience distance and can happen to friendships too!

As daunting ‘distance’ can be, it does not at all mean that a friendship or relationship will automatically fail, in many cases they can work for years. It is simply about whether both sides are willing to make substantial effort to maintain the bond and connection. When you do see them again after time apart, it will be as though you are continuing where you left off however many months ago it was when you last rekindled.

Distance within relationships allows your significant other to choose a step that will better themselves or complete a life-long goal, that you may not be able to follow as you are own your own journey and path. This could be moving away for studies or a job, starting a new job, or travelling around the world, nevertheless still choosing to make the relationship work, as you still care deeply for one another.

I have experienced distance within my relationship and friendships over the last three years, as we all ventured off to university and began our next journeys. And I will continue to be ‘mid-distance’ within most of my friendships and family members when I take the leap and move away from home and into a flat with my boyfriend in September. So, if you are the same and about to experience distance within your close friends, or significant other, here are some tips I felt most supported my relationship and friendships during the three years of being ‘mid-distance’…

Accept it’s Daunting and That Things Inevitably will be Different

It is a huge change; you need time to come to terms with not having them around the corner anymore. In most cases, before a big move, you are aware weeks/months in advance as to when you will be moving, so come to terms in the lead up, and spend as much time together during that time.

Obvious, but FaceTime, Text, and Call!

If that means an organised weekly call to update each other or sending them a Tik Tok that reminds you of them, letting them know you are thinking of them! A small moment but can mean more than you are aware of.

Always have a Future Meeting Date in the Diary.

This made the time apart feel a lot more manageable and gave us something to look forward to!

Organising a Fun Date!

 When you do see one another in person, try and organise a fun date, or meal out, to spend as much time appreciating the short amount of time you have together.

Continue On with Your Life

During your times apart, it is so important to do things for you and continuing on with your own life. This could be alone, spending time with friends or family. It could be making time for self-care, working hard on your job, studies, or even picking up a part time job/hobby to fill time and really focus on YOU. Even though in a relationship you do focus massively on each other, a relationship should be an amazing addition in your life, not the only thing in your life.

Bickering & Miscommunication

Be aware you may bicker more, the harsh reality, especially within relationship distance, is the frustration you can’t be together as much as you would like, so you may bicker over small, silly things, or sometimes miscommunication causing bickering. As long as you recognise it’s the distance!

Choosing Them

Being willing to make it work and choosing each other. Mid-distance/long-distance relationships are hard work, and for it to work, you must equally make effort with calling, texting, booking train tickets to visit, and just always choosing them. Especially with a University environment, there are obstacles where you have the opportunity not to always choose your significant other, and being able to be mature enough in knowing your relationship is strong enough and worth the sacrifices.

It will Not be like this Forever

Remember there will be an end date to the distance. Whether that would be in three years after university or after a month. The distance will not always be. It really does make a relationship so much stronger, builds maturity, and makes you genuinely recognise the love you have for each other. Distance has its challenges, however it forces you to continually show up for one another, always choose them, so no matter the challenges thrown at your relationship in the future, you know you can make it through.

Words By Alice Abel